I haven't written for a while.
The problem with feeling like you have been punched in the face, is that you feel like you have been punched in the face. This means there is a throbbing sensation, in this case, in my jaw. The throbs pulsate up the right side of my face. My right eye feels droopy. I can't feel my right teeth. My right cheekbone joins in the merry throb. All is not right.
When you have a throbbing face, the ability to sit still goes out of the window. I seem to have developed what I like to call TLS (twitchy-leg-syndrome). My right leg is constantly on the move. What it hopes to achieve, I know not. It spasms involuntarily and causes a huge amount of irritation.
When all's said and done, this whole fat face, pain malarkey is a bit of a bore.
Back I go the week after next. Sedation round two. This time they will cut my face open and remove the scar tissue. Whilst they're at it, I might ask them to actually punch me in the face in the hope I regain sensation in my teeth. The dental surgeon may have left my wisdom, but he took my dignity.
And my ability to form and finish sentences.
My jaw is really stiff where they sliced and sewed up. The surgeon's answer = chew gum. I have become a serial gum chewer. Mainly because it momentarily removes the taste of blood and metal in my mouth. But I have also become a Chain Chewer - an addict if you will. The next one goes in before I finish the last. Chewing gum 24/7 is actually probably the most tiring thing I have ever had to do. Including the half marathon I did last year. Including childbirth.* Try chewing for an entire minute without a break and then multiply that effort by 1440.** This would be if I chewed in my sleep. Considering how little I sleep anyway, it isn't an unrealistic notion.
Insomnia has always been an issue. Add a throbbing fat dead face into the mix and really there's not much hope. I still function though. Not sleeping a night until I was five was good preparation for what was, quite frankly, a really shoddy decision.
Let me impart my wisdom once more. I pray thee take it. Do not get your wisdom teeth removed. In fact, do not let anybody with a cutting device, be it scalpel, scissor or swiss army knife, within a mile of your mouth. It will only end in tears.
Well, it would end in tears if I could feel my face.
Which I can't.
So it won't.
I don't mind if you want to cry for me.
*Obviously, I have never given birth to a child, but I popped this comparison in for dramatic effectiveness.
** This is probably a miscalculation. Maths, as we well know, is not my forte.
The problem with feeling like you have been punched in the face, is that you feel like you have been punched in the face. This means there is a throbbing sensation, in this case, in my jaw. The throbs pulsate up the right side of my face. My right eye feels droopy. I can't feel my right teeth. My right cheekbone joins in the merry throb. All is not right.
When you have a throbbing face, the ability to sit still goes out of the window. I seem to have developed what I like to call TLS (twitchy-leg-syndrome). My right leg is constantly on the move. What it hopes to achieve, I know not. It spasms involuntarily and causes a huge amount of irritation.
When all's said and done, this whole fat face, pain malarkey is a bit of a bore.
Back I go the week after next. Sedation round two. This time they will cut my face open and remove the scar tissue. Whilst they're at it, I might ask them to actually punch me in the face in the hope I regain sensation in my teeth. The dental surgeon may have left my wisdom, but he took my dignity.
And my ability to form and finish sentences.
My jaw is really stiff where they sliced and sewed up. The surgeon's answer = chew gum. I have become a serial gum chewer. Mainly because it momentarily removes the taste of blood and metal in my mouth. But I have also become a Chain Chewer - an addict if you will. The next one goes in before I finish the last. Chewing gum 24/7 is actually probably the most tiring thing I have ever had to do. Including the half marathon I did last year. Including childbirth.* Try chewing for an entire minute without a break and then multiply that effort by 1440.** This would be if I chewed in my sleep. Considering how little I sleep anyway, it isn't an unrealistic notion.
Insomnia has always been an issue. Add a throbbing fat dead face into the mix and really there's not much hope. I still function though. Not sleeping a night until I was five was good preparation for what was, quite frankly, a really shoddy decision.
Let me impart my wisdom once more. I pray thee take it. Do not get your wisdom teeth removed. In fact, do not let anybody with a cutting device, be it scalpel, scissor or swiss army knife, within a mile of your mouth. It will only end in tears.
Well, it would end in tears if I could feel my face.
Which I can't.
So it won't.
I don't mind if you want to cry for me.
*Obviously, I have never given birth to a child, but I popped this comparison in for dramatic effectiveness.
** This is probably a miscalculation. Maths, as we well know, is not my forte.
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